


Rules

by sanadas



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Memories, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 19:59:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14456652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanadas/pseuds/sanadas
Summary: It was too late.They weren't friends anymore, the messages he didn't reply, the house he called the best place he ever had was so so far away from his eyes.He can only live of memories of something so beautiful but now it's bitter.Jaebum knows that himself did it.





	Rules

_**1\. Don't pick up the phone.** _

  
‘Fuck it, I’m fucking stupid.’ Was everything that was in his head since the break up with the only person that he knows for sure would accept him. Always, in any moment, in any place.

In his spare time, Jaebum could not help but think about how much he missed the hugs or how beautiful it looks when they were both under the blanket on cold days. He missed those angelic hands in his hair, how he received the messages of support in the middle of a tiring day in the university, studying all day — there was always an ‘I love you please keep being strong’ even thought he didn’t reply most of it.

Choi Youngjae, the sweetheart that Jaebum (and most of the guys that were interested on the angel) knew he didn’t deserve. It was like these romance films that he didn’t care to watch (oh come on, these were nothing compared to horror), but everybody knows that the popular and jerk end up with the angel and loved of the whole school.

And this was it. They become boyfriends. They had too much photo on their cellphones, even if they didn’t see each other on school because Jaebum had business to do (it was his music class, he wouldn’t killed the class even if asked him to). But it was okay, they had the whole afternoon together. Only the two of them. Sometimes both were too lazy to have a proper date, sometimes Jaebum wasn’t on the best mood, sometimes they didn’t feel like it.

And they had a very loving relationship until Jaebum saw them breaking up.

Honestly, in the end, the only loving thing was his own memories. It was how he was receiving so much thing and doing so little for other. But it was okay, like Youngjae was only crazy and tired when they were fighting.

The only thing is that the angel wasn’t crazy, definitely tired but not crazy. And it was lonely without Youngjae on his side after a very tiring day (Jaebum started more course and man, he couldn’t miss any of it) and when together, it was still lonely to Youngjae too. Not that Jaebum noticed it.

After so much time together, Im let him go without even a proper goodbye. Just did.

He was already getting used to the lack of someone, he thought. It was going to be fine, it can wait a little longer if this mean he will be okay.

For months that he told himself this. Like there are scars and it aches but keep trying to put on his mind that it will disappear. The real thing is; It won’t. It was too deep, and he knew it. Jaebum knew that he should start to learn with that mark on his inside.

And himself knows that he should have learned before so it wouldn’t burning like that.

But in those moments when he drank with the boys, he always made mistakes. And this time wasn't any different. He needed to hear his voice just once, only this time, and that was over. This was a perfect excuse, he was drunk.

Held the cellphone as if his life would be over if let it go, and dialed the number that once called him everyday.

Jaebum needed this, but he could not imagine how much he thought of it until after a few drinks, when gave an excuse that he needed some air. He needed it actually, it was as if his breath was stuck and only that voice would help.

On the twentieth attempt, finally answered. And he could not stop thinking about the messages and the loving voice that how always calmed him.

“ _Jaebum_.” The voice that have always received him with a smile he could hear now was so dry and so cold, and Jaebum did not miss the sigh of annoyance on the end of the other line. “ _What do you want?_ ”

“Just wondering how you are.” A weak laugh left Jaebum’s thin lips, but no reaction was received, and the line went silent. The thought on his mind that he needed to listen to the voice a little more. “It's been a while...”

“ _Much better that way_.” The firmness of Youngjae’s voice broke a piece of him that he hardly knew that existed. They both were silent, not knowing how to respond, and received another sigh. “ _This is the last time I pick up your calls. For God's sake, Jaebum, leave me alone._ ”

“I miss you.” The musician finally let it out and it would be one of the best feelings ever if he didn't know what the answer would be. And now it hurts even more. “I miss texting you, seeing you. I miss... my best friend too...”

“ _You have the boys. And you should thank them to put up with you._ ”

“It's not the same.”

“ _No way it is. Now, say to them that I miss them._ ” The angel’s voice only made his heart aches, but it was fine. It was fine because it was Youngjae. “ _Oh, wait. Let me do it myself, they don't need to know that you're talking to me_.”

“It's not—”

_“It's okay, Jaebum. I don't want to know any more. You had your time. Goodbye.”_

This time it was his turn to let a sigh. They knew this would be the last time. The younger always tried to keep his words, even when he could be suffering.

This was one of the things the older loved about his ex and he never said it out loud.

The cell phone now showing the home screen without any wallpaper was put in his pocket and he returned to the table the boys were, meeting the quiet look of Jinyoung, almost like a warning that he would have to explain.

He just set it aside and sit as if everything was all right while Jackson was telling a funny moment. Jaebum knew how much his ex liked those stories.

 

_**2\. Don’t let him in** _

 

Exactly a year since his favorite couple's picture. It was a polaroid and was written 'yours' with a heart behind.  
The photo was very simple; Both were under a mistletoe and Youngjae gave a soft kiss on his cheek, while he was smiling for the photo.

_“Oh oh! They're under a mistletoe!” Jackson said and BamBam had the camera on his hand already like it was ready to take any memorable photo. The smile was visible on the faces of all the boys, who saw the red color on the face of the couple. “Kiss, kiss!”_

_"Kiss and dab at the same time."_

_“Can you please shut up, don't ruin the moment of the couple!”_

_“1... 2... 3...” The soft, icy lips touched his cheek, and the smile on his face appeared inevitably. “Dab!”_

_The click was loud, but unlike Jackson's reaction, the photo was forgotten and at that time. There were only them, staring at each other was a good way to warm up and smile increased every second. If he had not been in love, he would have looked disgusted right there. But this was not the case._

_“Cute.” Jaebum said._

_“He said cute?!” Jackson looked surprised and Mark was laughing and looking at Yugyeom that was equally laughing. Another click was heard. “Cute.”_

_“Why you took so long to introduce us, hyung?” BamBam smiled at Youngjae but asked his friend and finally hugged the couple. “If I knew it would be like this, I would have myself visited you.”_

Jaebum remembers that day well, how could he forget. Being with the boys and the person he loved most was one of his favorite things.

And now he was wearing the same clothes he had worn a year ago and he remembered how they looked that day. The amount of clothing showed how cold it was then, but seeing how beautiful and warm Youngjae felt was the best feeling for him.

It made him feel safe, feel as if he was being hugged, made him feel sure that nothing would happen if both were so wrapped up. It made him feel at home. Hugging on the couch while listening to the rain fall. But now this house is only memories. It was empty and stench-like, as if the sun had not entered for a long time.

_“I already changed the keys. You can leave yours now.”_

That message was never deleted and it was the last one the younger sent to him. He had no idea how the house was now. Was it the same soft yellow as before? Were the curtains still there? The furniture was perhaps still reddish brown. Perhaps.

The idea of not knowing how the house that both took that picture that showed pure emotion looked inside hurt him, but knowing that Youngjae was still there was already a reason to lie in bed and close his eyes. Even that mistletoe will never be seen again, since he will no longer kiss under the door to his source of safety.

 

 _ **3\. Don't be his friend**_.

 

_“Enough. This is not working, Jaebum, look at what level we are now.” The irritation on the angel’s voice was more than visible, and he immediately felt the lack of body at his side when Youngjae stood up. He could not see right, the room was dark, but it was obvious that someone were there next to the window. “We fought, then we kissed, we stopped in bed and the next day we pretended that those days did not exist when they exist. They exist and are here in our head even though we say no.”_

_“And what do you want to do with it?” As Jaebum sat on the edge of his bed, his voice slightly concerned and louder, and a little coarser than he expected._

_He received the silence and this shocked him. A lot._

_In the most lively and sunny days or in the most quiet and cloudy days, an answer always appeared. Even if it was not what he wanted. Even if it did not say enough. Youngjae always had something to talk about._

_Putting on the last piece of clothing, the boy sighed deeply and looked out the window, as if had been looking for some courage. And it was. Jaebum could not explain what the expression was, so he simply fell silent as he made his way there and hugged the same sweetheart he started loving years ago from behind but it was not enough. It wasn’t because Jaebum himself changed and it wasn’t in a good way. It started to hurt._

_“Doesn't it hurt you? Doesn't it hurt when I stopped telling 'I love you'? Doesn't it hurt when I stopped calling every day?” The words were put out urgently, but it was like none of it made sense on the musician’s head. “It would hurt for me. I was the only one. I've always started. I've always finished.”_

_“We can work on it together.” The laughter Jaebum enjoyed so much turned into an ironic, mocking laugh._

_“No. We're not dating, Jaebum.” Im’s hands clasped his, but Youngjae didn’t keep it. He undid it and shook his head as if in denial. And that word was strong for him. His angel never denied his caresses. Not even in the last time together. “I broke up with you for a reason. Honestly, what am I doing here? I came to visit your friends and ended up in your bed.”_

_“It was not I who asked us to break up.” The words came cold, and Jaebum knew it wouldn't end up well but he also needed to release the thought, even though he did not know how to put it into good words besides in songs. He grabbed his own hair, angry at anything, but mostly at himself and the angel even if Jaebum knew he had no right. “If you had stopped to talk and if you did not like me, you would not be here.”_

_“You need to know how to take care of someone. You always had things in your hand. Life does not work that way.” He turned to face Youngjae’s tears. The backpack on his back was ready, not even a thing missing on the room. "I already told you. The boys have already talked about it. I just wanted you to know what you're dealing with. A relationship comes from two sides, I don't want to do everything myself.”_

_Unlike most of their fights, there was no door closing. There was no shouting or even an approach. Not even when they were done. That scared, that hurt._

_“Why are not you yelling at me?”_

_“Because it does not hurt anymore. I do not have anything else to talk about. I'm tired.” A weak smile appeared on the younger’s face. And it was a smile that he would appreciate if it were not for the broken heart. “We just fight and praise when we care for someone. I hope your next relationship, you have finally known how it works.”_

_“But—”_

_“Enough, for God's sake.” Wiping the tears desperately, and it looked so wrong to be on that beautiful face, Jaebum just wanted to scream. Andthe hand was already on the door. “Remember every time you ignored what I felt or every time you were ashamed to be with me in front of the boys. Or rather, remember the Christmas we spent and how happy they were to finally have time to talk to me. The photos will be sent by next week”_

_The door opened and finally closed, leaving only him in the dark room_.

Someone entered the room, but Jaebum was not quick enough to keep it all from the person.

“Hyung...” Before the phrase could finish, Yugyeom saw the box in his hand and immediately knew what it was. He simply walked and patted his back, as a comfort. “You have to get over this.”

“We are not friends, not enemies, not even in love.” The words were weighing. "What can I do to ease this?”

“First of all. Get rid of it. This has no meaning anymore. It should not have meant anything to you.” The youngest took the box and left it far away. “Burn it.”

“Are you—”

“I don't care.” Another voice caught Jaebum's ears and turned to meet Mark. “That should be over. It's time to get over. But right now it's time to go.”

“You know what, hyung?” Yugyeom gave a half smile. “Stop thinking about this. The person who told you all this is not thinking about this anymore. Not worth suffering.”  
“We can just put this on the trash.”

He only nodded. But deep, deep down he knows it will never get better. And even after burned it, he still have the words on his mind and just a lonely polaroid to keep it still.

  
_We will make our own rules. With kisses and love, as we are living._

  
_Forever yours._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ♡ I love you and hope you have a nice day!! 
> 
> twitter: @doublebdabs!


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